My ears heard of a child being bullied at primary school – it is so prevalent. Recalling the initial days in Grade 1, my daughter encompassed the same situation. I wasn’t about to give the problem away to a platitude of “oh well … you know! that’s life” because it isn’t, it’s just a throw away irresponsible line - a platitude.
I wasn’t about to give responsibility away to leave my daughter navigating a stressful situation at school for the sake of some of “my precious time” interacting in her environment to offer her some “life skills” to isolate a problem and offer a learning experience.
Giving thought to the options available; in terms of life skills to navigate this behavior I came arrived at my line of attack!.
I would go to school and observe the habits of young children commencing their 1st primary year within a public schooling system. I had preliminary ideas prior to my observance, so once at School recognition of key factors came evidently to the fore.
Children appeared to dissipate once snack/lunch periods were over and the prime areas of “children” population engaged in activities around the;
Library – information station
Play Area – exploratory equipment
Open Area – concreted areas
Garden – including chickens, herbs and planting
After this observational research I expressed to my daughter;
“I understand you are experiencing problems with bullies – I have some life skills for you! – you can choose whatever you think you will like” you cannot fix them, however you can take steps that will make “you” feel better about yourself, so you can enjoy your experience at School.
“You don’t need to feel that children are “picking on you” or “blatantly ignoring your friendly manner” you can choose other ways to inter-act with other kids by applying these other ways – which are called – alternatives – which … can be named as life skills”. (And if you are thinking - what a way to speak to a Grade 1 child - well guess what! it encourages her to ask “what does that mean Mummy?” so please don’t assume I always use content full words with her”).
I then made her aware of the choices to “choose from” and we discussed where she may like to go. She chose the Garden. Good place – kids are “down-to-earth” there and think alike. I went with her, afterall, she needed support in her choice. So we discovered something “new” at school – together.
Now, almost at the end of year – she is happy rotating around the four areas available to her. Adding – that sometimes she just likes to sit by a tree and observe the others playing.
I think that it is healthy for a child to feel comfortably knowing company exists however being alone in social environments is quite acceptable. One doesn’t have to entertain one’s self or another for the sake of being somewhat accepted - in strategy groups moreover I guess known as “peer” groups.
I feel in this situation whereby bullies exist, the only method of intervention is to teach the child “ways” in which they can detach themselves from the controlled manipulative behaviour of others to ensue their own inner-confidence by using connective-proactive behaviour instead.
Don’t let anyone tell you that living in a dream world is wrong! Please to hear the music press the “greater-than arrow upon the image above”.
Living in my Dream World & Parenting Sharp Minors by Sharon A Stocker
