Cool Choices

Posted by textonscreen

June 22, 2008

When do we teach choices? here is another evolving experience within our Family.

My daughter who is in Grade 2 (7yrs) is participating in Sports Day this week at school. It is on Tuesday for her age group.

Prior to last week, she came home one day complaining that her legs hurt. “Well love that’s what happens when you exercise them”. Why do they hurt so much Mum? “Is it because I was trying to go as fast as I could many times?” - “Probably” I answered.

Last week she came home saying how much “fast exercise hurt” and why couldn’t it be otherwise.

I am writing this because last night she said to me “Mummy, do you know something” … well, she went on. I shall punctuate the following paragraph as it belongs to her speech.

“Mum, I will tell you this because maybe you don’t know … okay I said … Well Mum you know what you do is that you practice coughing and you run at the same time. You keep practising until the coughing just happens when you run and then you go to the Doctor and he calls it Asthma. Did you know Mum there is name for the thing that you do so that you do not have to hurt doing the other thing?

My god! I said. No, I never knew that. She said, “Oh, well some parents are good and they just sign a note to say – “you don’t have to run”, but some parents have to take you to the Doctor so he can say you have Asthma that is why you cannot run.

I am taking a deep breath – she was telling me all of this whilst she was in the shower. Afterwards I talked to my partner about this and he laughed. What is funny I asked! Well, he said “she asked me why I have to run and why do I have to be called something if I don’t want to run fast”.

This morning at breakfast, casually talking I asked my daughter. Love, do you enjoy the sports day at school? She looked at me and said, “Well, I enjoy the activities but I don’t like being made to run so fast all of a sudden”. I thought that was fair enough.

So where is Choice in all of this? Sports Days occur. Do the children get choice? Is choice not a tool to be learnt at this age?

You know what. If they are not “offered” the choice how will they understand respect? Rather like – example, reflection, and role model.

Does society expect us to teach “choice” at home and not have it honoured within society so that it is a consistent value in the community?

I am not going to stop my child from participating. However, I am going to supply a note to school that exempts her by “choice” not to participate in an event that does not require her to get an illness to ring some bell and get some attention that children require alot more depth than we think.

So then I asked, “are you planning on getting Asthma?” she answered, “I don’t know”. I guess if I exercised guilt and displayed manipulation then she would have said “yes”!.

To Whom it May Concern

Please exclude my daughter from the running races – she is practicing hard at home to get Asthma so that she has an excuse not to run.

I teach my children the respect of “choice” so they are not bound by what others deem appropriate without respect to the child first.

I don’t consider this an inappropriate decision as my child loves to run around, is physically fit and well balanced, she does not want to become an athlete and enjoys what the school generously has to offer – a huge oval to play soccer on and plenty of playground equipment to keep exercised upon. Some kids love to run in races – some do not. Some people become school teachers – some do not. I like to teach her proactive choice in options in her younger years rather than later when it is way too late and my voice is not one she trusts with respect.

If you accept my decision, is it all right for my daughter to participate in the other sports events that occur other than the running races - i.e: tabloid sports.

Kind regards
a thankful mother

Cool Choices in Little Voices

Update:

gave the teacher the note. This afternoon I was told - in front of my daughter “tell them she has Asthma that way they won’t make her do it”. My daughter re-acted, how could I respond? I didn’t, I just left.

I used strike-through in edit today (24/6/8) because more conversation over-rided the previous that was a more pro-active positive positional response on the re-action that occured yesterday. That was the past.