Having a Baby: Help! - Parenting Sharp Minors
| Stevie Wonder - Is… |
I heard something on air the other day that has inspired me to type. It was about pregnancy and how to pre-plan time together once the child has been born.
The speaker was suggesting that “as parents” we tell the children that mummy and daddy are having some time together and they should go play. That’s great for a 2 or 3 year old, but what happens between the period birth and 2? - preparation that’s what!
When my first child was born I used to communicate that mummy was going to have “alone” time a time where I would be all one by myself. I also used to tell her that I wouldn’t be a long time just a small amount of time. Laughing yet? Funny hey! – Well actually all my friends used to think “oh you are so funny” as if a baby shall understand that!
My “baby” used to have her time awakening with being fed. Her nappy changed. Then we would have music on and I would talk to her whilst she lay happily on a sheepskin, observing the surroundings. Then I used to make sure that I had my own time whilst she was awake – being out of her sight. Making her aware that this was going to happen each time it did happen - not only did it give her the comfort of first knowing what “mummy was doing” but she was prepared because she had forewarning. Ofcourse the periods were short! However, when you have a “baby” – they are not a “baby” for long! – They grow up!You actually give birth to life.
Remembering when I used to visit friends I was amazed at all the “toys” that were around. Thinking what could a “baby” do with toys? Were they there in anticipation of what came next? Who knows? Certainly a month aged baby could do nothing with them. However, observing other mothers I found they used to encourage the baby with a toy. I used to think this was really odd. Why bother something that doesn’t require interference at such a young age? why not let them just be as they are and experience their surroundings as they do?
I guess it was difficult in terms of I viewed my child differently to the others I came in contact with. My ways of doing things were certainly way beyond what others were doing. However, I also recall as soon as my daughter was born – looking into her angelic face, thinking to myself – where is the manual for this job? I had read a few stories, a few books – which were great books – but they are just “books” – and reading words are great and understanding ways, but boy! When the child arrives, it is reality – mother instinct takes on a whole new meaning. I soon realised that the ways in which I had read were not really appropriate as this experience I was having was “my own”. And thinking “how could I repeat someone else’s experience based upon a book”. The books were good in terms of idea forming for myself to adapt my own unique approach - after all it is the outcome I am interested in - a happy content child …
Are there parents out there who have similar ideas? if so what are they? do you have a child in this age bracket and if so what difficulty are you facing? I am interested to know
“The small child reasons, ‘These all-powerful gods treat me as I deserve to be treated…what they say about me
is what I am.’”
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