My friend asked me for some advice;

Posted by textonscreen

October 22, 2007

Here is the question:

My dad is such a wonderful person, a loving Dad and an involved Grandfather. He has been unwell with disease. He is getting much better and he looks great. That is scary that he looks so great. It bothers me. I know he hasn’t got long to live. What do I do about my awkward feelings about knowing one day he will die and he will no longer be physically around for myself and my boys?

I offered this advice:

Go home. Get yourself what you like. If it is coffee get that and sit where you like to sit and ponder. Now when you get to that point I want you to put in your mind that your Dad has gone, he died. Keep that thought and start to think about not being able to be in his presence ever again physically.

Now, ask yourself. I can no longer see my father. What did I miss out on? what did I not say that I wanted to say? What did i not do with him that I wanted to do?

Whatever it is that comes to mind. Ask yourself. Go and find a pen and paper. Be still and allow yourself to answer the questions you have asked yourself. If you cannot, then go about your day. You will answer yourself.

Then write down all those things that you didn’t do with your Dad – all those things you wanted to say, and never quite got the time to actually say them. Out pour everything that comes to mind.

Put that list on your fridge. Mark off everything. Leave nothing for regret.

She said she has done it. She said she feels relief from those morbid thoughts. We hugged. She went on with her day.

Pass it on.